All of these short first-person essays were first published in The Weekly Standard.

Maddy and Daddy,” wherein a lovely couple travel to Barcelona and take their daughter along.

For the Record,” wherein the Skinner brothers get into trouble, and Jesse Skinner gets them out.

Queens English,” in which my true origins are discovered and my misleading accent is discussed.

(Cupped) Hands Across America,” in which I invent an amazing rhetorical device.

Shingler on the Roof,” in which I risk my life for the sake of keeping my bicycle dry.

Self-Made Man,” wherein I become the man I want to be and buy my wife a dress.

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